Tuesday, February 07, 2006

If I were a Congressman

Republic of the Philippines
Congress of the Philippines
Metro Manila
Twelfth Congress
Third Regular Session


Begun and held in Metro Manila, on Tuesday, the second day of February, two thousand and five.

Republic Act. No. 1414

AN ACT PROHIBITING THE CELEBRATION OF
VALENTINE'S DAY, PROVIDING PENALTIES THEREFOR,
AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES

Be it enacted by the Senate and the House of Representatives of the Philippines
in Congress assembled

SEC. 1. Short Title.- This Act shall be known as the "Anti-Valentine's Law of 2006".

SEC. 2. Declaration of Policy.- It is hereby declared that the State values the dignity of single and bitter citizens, who probably constitute majority of the population. The State recognizes the right of the unhappy to remain unhappy.

Towards this end, the State shall hereby exert all efforts to prevent the abovementioned citizens from seeing happy people celebrate Valentine's day. The State shall ensure that all efforts will be made to stop bitter citizens from becoming, well, "bitterer".

SEC. 3. Definition of terms. -

a. Valentine's day - shall refer to February 14, and the day after that.

b. Bitter people - shall refer to single individuals who do not have partners on Valentine's day, or 6 months prior to the said date.

c. PDA - shall refer to Public Display of Affection.

SEC. 4. Prohibited Acts.- On Valentine's day, and 2 months prior thereto, the following acts shall be prohibited:

a. Asking a bitter individual who is his/her date for Valentine's Day. Unless the person who asks, has a reasonable ground to believe that the single individual will have a good chance of acquiring a date.

b. Performing PDA's within the sight of the bitter individual.

c. Playing love songs within the hearing distance of the bitter individual.

d. Other acts that are related to the celebration of Valentine's day.

SEC. 4. Penalties.- Violation of this Act shall be punished with the mandatory sentence of life imprisonment; and a fine ranging from P50,000 to P1,000,000, at the discretion of the Court.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

naku kung ipapa-implement mo yan, HINDI KITA IBOBOTO ehehheh

bitter ba?! ^_~