Losing my Religion

Wala na yatang hihigit pa sa talino ko. Humility aside, sa tingin ko ay ako na ang pinakamatalinong tao na nabuhay. Kumpleto din ako ng talento. Kumbaga eh ako na ang simbolo ng isang perpekto at kumpletong tao.

Kahit gaano pa kalalim ang gawin kong pag-iisip, wala talaga akong maalala na kapintasan ko. Wala talaga. Ang kapintasan ko lang talaga na naiisip eh sobrang perpekto ko. Minsan nga, ang iniisip ko ay isa siguro kong anghel.

Bilang katunayan....

Nawala na naman ang cellphone ko. Nalaglag habang mahimbing akong natutulog pauwi ng Tondo.

Hindi ko na alam kung ilang beses na kong nawalan ng cellphone. Pede na siguro kong magtayo ng isang maliit na tindahan ng cellphone kung nde ako nawawalan ng fone.

Ang hindi ko maintindihan eh kung bakit nagagalit sila mama tuwing nawawalan ako! Ano ba ang masama dun? Kung tutuusin, mga tatlong buwan ko na ding napakinabangan yung cellphone na yun. Kaya nararapat lang na may makinabang naman na iba. Bakit sila nagagalit sa pagiging matulungin ko? Sa langit times 100 daw yan sabi ng teacher ko nung elementary. Ibig sabihin, libo na ang cellphone ko sa langit! San ka pa?!?

Hindi pa ako kumukuha ng sim sa smart. Medyo pinapatagal ko pa kasi nakakahiya na. Mauubusan na kasi ko ng dahilan kung bakit nawala ang sim ko. Eto ang draft ng idadahilan ko ngayon sa Smart:

Smart Communications
Ayala Avenue, Makati

RE: Request for Sim Card Replacement

To Whom It May Concern:

On March 23, 2006, while I was on my way to Tondo, a beggar approached me and asked if she could borrow my phone. She told me that she needed to text her mother who was dying of cancer. Being the not-so-gullible-and-not-so-trusting-person that I am, I readily acceded. Once I gave her my phone, she turned into a very beautiful diwata.

As it turned out, the beggar was actually the fairy godmother of cellphones. I was so shocked because I was not aware that there was such an entity. She told me that, because of my generosity, she will give me something that I may use to fight crime. She also told me not to inform anyone what that "something" was or it will lose its powers. So, I hope you understand why I will no longer discuss it in this letter.

In view of the foregoing narration, may I request for a new sim card? You see, in exchange for the powers, I had to surrender my cellular phone. Though we may not understand why she needed the cellphone - being the diwata that she is - there are some things in this life that are beyond human reason. Nevertheless, rest assured that I will use the powers given to me to do good (such as evicting Zanjoe from PBB).

In the meantime, please provide me a new sim card.

Yours very truly,

Captain Cid (with a capital S* on my chest)

*To clarify, the "S" does not stand for stupid.