The following are excerpts from my interview with CNN's Larry King. The interview was done late last night, while i was on my way to 7-11. Larry King has been itching to do this interview for quite sometime now. I've turned him down for approximately 3 million times already but he insisted. So, here goes....
Larry: Good Evening Cid!
Cid: Gago ka! Ginulat mo ko! Kala ko holdaper ka Larry!
Larry: What's that?
Cid: Ah! That is tagalog for "Good Evening too Larry!"
Larry: Okay. Thanks. So, how are you doing these past few days?
Cid: I am fine, isn't it? It's raining cats and dogs, aren't day?
Larry: errrr.....yes, it is. So Cid, is it true that you and Katie Holmes are having an affair behind Tom Cruise's back?
Cid: Well Larry, that is what we call tsismis here in the Philippines. That is pure gossip. They are just trying to destroy my good relationship with Tom. Larry, Tom is like a brother to me. And he feels the same way about me too. We are like twins. So, I will never have an affair with Katie. That's just too absurd to warrant belief.
Larry: Okay. But can you explain why you and Katie were seen having dinner?
Cid: Come on Larry?! A dinner is as normal as lunch and breakfast. There is nothing wrong with that. If we do not have dinner, breakfast and lunch, in about 20 days we are dead.
Larry: Good answer. What is your opinion about the so-called Garci tapes?
Cid: My opinion is this - I have none.
Larry: Don't you care about the current political turmoil?
Cid: Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn.
Larry: Why?
Cid: Becasue I have an in-grown in my toenail. And it hurts. For me, finding a way to remove it is more important than all three branches of government combined.
Larry: What is an in-grown?
Cid: You're too clean to understand.
Larry: I see. By the way, pede ba na mag-tagalog? Nahihirapan na kasi ako eh.
Cid: Kita mo! Eh di bumigay ka rin. Kala mo hindi ako magaling sa english? Sige, tagalog na lang. Nakakaawa ka eh.
Larry: Salamat Cid. Naghihingalo na ko kanina eh. Tanong ko nga pala, marami ang naiintriga kung meron ka daw bang lovelife ngayon. Meron ba?
Cid: Wala eh. Love interest meron. (kindat)
Larry: Sino yun?
Cid: Hindi ko pede sabihin. Delicates eh (delikado).
Larry: Bakit naman? Siguro lalake yan.
Cid: Gaga! Siyempre miyembro ng opposite sex.
Larry: What are your chances?
Cid: Pretty good. Last time eh we had dinner. Mukhang ok naman. Habang nakatitig ako sa kanya eh parang nangungusap ang mga mata nya sa akin. Parang may sinasabi.
Larry: Ano yung sinasabi ng mata nya sa tingin mo?
Cid: I'm not sure ha. Pero parang ang basa ko sa sinsabi ng kanyang mata eh- "CID, IBALING."
Larry: Hahaha! Hindi mo pa ba yun gets? Negative ka Cid! Ibig sabihin nun eh ibaling mo nalang sa iba! HAHAHAHA!
Cid: Ah ganun ba? (Throws a roundhouse kick)
Larry: Arekup! Sige na nga, ibang tanong na lang. May mga kumakalat na balita na mataba ka daw. Totoo ba yun?
Cid: YAAAHHH!!! (Executes a judo throw). May tanong pa ba?
Larry: zzzz....zzzzzz..zzzzz
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