Cidie, one of the top bachelors in town, is currently in need of a partner/girlfriend who will fill the position left empty by the previous one. He is currently in search of a dynamic, innovative, and half-crazy individual with the following minimum qualifications:
- Female
- Must no longer be a minor in accordance with existing laws. (However, minors who think they are qualified may apply. But they must bring with them a waiver of the provisions of the Anti-Child Abuse Law and a Letter of Authorization from their parents. Both documents must be duly notarized. )
- Not less that three feet in height.
- Must not weight more than 300 pounds.
- Must not be obsessed with muscles and abs.
- Willing to eat rice during midnightsnacks.
- Must know how to read and write. (However this qualification may be dispensed with depending on applicant’s vital statistics.)
- No experience necessary. In fact, “no experience” is preferred.
- With pleasing multiple personalities.
- Applicants should be willing (and able) to shoulder dinner expenses should the same be necessary.
- Willing to work full time.
For the applicant who will qualify for this position, Cidie offers a very generous compensation package, to wit:
- Load Allowance (*Negotiable whether weekly or monthly.)
- Rice Allowance (Will be delivered “cooked” in the place preferred by the qualified applicant. Provided that the said place must be within Metro Manila only.)
- Guaranteed Gifts on Birthdays and other occasions (Gift may range from cards to stuffed toys. However, gifts amounting to more than P2, 000.00 shall be directly deductible to the Load Allowance.)
- Service to and from place of domicile.
Chance to be with one of the most unrealistically good looking young man in town.
Applicants who are interested may submit their resume at the 20th Flr. Security Bank Centre Building Paseo de Roxas, Makati City. Online applications are also accepted. Please attach a copy of your NBI and Police Clearance. Also, bring with you a certification from the National Institute for Mental Health, to the effect that you have not been admitted thereto at least 6 months prior to your date of application.
Hurry! This offer is only good while my insanity lasts. Interviews are on-going from 8 am to 5 pm, Mon to Fri.
7 comments:
'kala ko qualified ako bilang applicant, kya lang kylangan p ng:
*Applicants should be willing (and able) to shoulder dinner expenses should the same be necessary.
kylangan b tlg nun???
pede ng i-disregard yung requirement na yun. kaso wala ng load allowance.
load allowance n nga lang hbol ko, mwawala p....ndi b against un s DOL?
nde un against sa dole...un ang alam ko. pero check ko pa din para sure. wag mo na habulin yung load allowance. bawi ka na alng sa ibang benefits.
cooked rice allowance nalang ang tanggalin mo. tutal bk mpnis yan, sayang lang. cge na, sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, kylangan ko lang talaga, include mo n load allowance. :-)
ok. done deal na. submit ka na lang ng requirements. hehe.
wat'z d status? been employed?
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